Where's the love?

by Jane
(Madrid, Spain )

My new husband is having difficulty in his new role as step parent. He has never been a parent before and my son (5yrs) has adapted to our new situation remarkably. My husband is super conscientious and is constantly working to improve my son's table manners, response time to requests to do little chores and general values. As a result my son accepts him but does not embrace him lovingly. And my husband doesn't 'feel' that my son loves him. We may have not planned our strategies in this new blended family so well but I wonder how I can bring them closer?

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Mar 02, 2013
Stepfather Having Difficulty
by: Laura Ramirez

While I completely understand that you want the two people who you love most in the world to love each other, you will have to step back a bit and let things develop organically. Your husband and child will create their own relationship in their own way in their own time. What your husband needs to understand is that correcting a child is only one tiny component of a good father/son relationship. I suggest he read my parenting book which explains development and also gives real insight into what it really means to be the steward of a child. By marrying you, he has stepped into this role and if he fully embraces it, the benefits he will gain will be immeasurable. I know many stepfathers who are real fathers to their stepchildren. This is a big opportunity for him to learn how to open his heart and discover what it really means to be a father.

I hope this helps. Please come back to this post in the future and let us know how it's going. Share your experience so others can learn as well.

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