When you raise a step child and they leave

by Michelle
(Sonoma County, CA)

I met my step son when he was six. He (and his dad) moved in with me and we lived together for the next 12 years. During that time I have had to deal with being bad-mouthed by his biological mother and step daughter (who did not live with me and decided at 15 that she did not want her father in her life). It has been the most joyous and painful 12 years of my life. The pain didn't really start until he turned 18 and after one semester in college decided he wanted to live with his biological mom.


There was no fighting that lead up to his decision, he just wanted to do this. He moved out on 12/15 and we have seen him for one day (a week day so his dad only saw him for 4 hours) and that was to pick up his Christmas presents. Since then no attempt has been made for him to visit, call or even email.

I have no question, but the pain that I feel is real. I don't know what I can do to reach out to him. I am worried he is being fed lies about his father and me, but since he won't communicate with us, we don't know.

Are there step parent support groups?

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