When should a parent end the family bed?

by Dawn Fox
(Burton, Michigan)

The idea of having a family bed is very controversial but my question goes past whether or not it is a good idea. My question is after deciding to do so, when, if ever should a parent change the sleeping arrangement? Is there a way to push your child to their own bed without hurting the feelings of the child or the parent?

I have a six year old son. He has slept in our bed since he was about 5 days old. I have to admit I have always enjoyed him sleeping with us for the same reasons that you have probably heard from many parents before. Recently, it has become an issue for me for a couple different reasons. First, it is just not physically comfortable anymore; he is too big for the three of us to fit in the bed. Second, it is getting in the way of my time with my husband.

We have tried in a few different ways to encourage him to stay in his own bed, but every night he ends up disrupting everyone's sleep by climbing over me to sleep in between us in the middle of the night.

Am I making a mistake trying to push him out? Should I have made the transition earlier or should I wait until later? I ask because I think it makes me as sad as it seems to make him.