What is the matter with people?!

by Bridgette
(Portland, Oregon USA)

Gorgeous, and mine!!!

Gorgeous, and mine!!!

I have two beautiful and awesome children! I am black and my husband is white. My children are very light skinned and since the birth of my oldest, white people have assumed that they are not my biological children.


Being from the black community, I have always known that no two people are exactly alike, even in the same family. My middle sister is caramel colored, I am medium brown and my youngest sister is dark brown.

It seems that people who are not used to other cultures are stuck in a world of one color for other races. What about the fact that "white" culture is varied in skin colors, hair textures, eye color, etc? How sad and closed-minded!!

Does anyone know what the deal is?! I am tired of being in the grocery store and having to convince a total stranger that my children are my own!

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Dec 28, 2010
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Thanks so much!
by: Anonymous

It is just so amazing how people can be so judgemental about things they know NOTHING about! My children are beautiful and they are mine! I am just thankful that my husband and I have raised them well and they know and are proud of who and what they are!! We all should be proud of our blessings and feel that pride wherever we are and whoever we encounter:)

lauriekate,

I am so happy that you and your husband were blessed with a beautiful child (absolutely gorgeous, I bet)!! When I look at my children, I do see their color and think it is just as beautiful as mine, my husband's, and anyone else that God has created! I know that feeling of love that just washes over you as a mother and it is all-encompassing :) Be blessed and enjoy the gift you have been given!

Dec 28, 2010
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I DON'T worry about what others think
by: lauriekate

My husband and I are white. We have a multiracial adopted child. I honestly don't see a color when I look at him. I just see LOVE. I love him so much it makes my heart ache. I am so blessed to have him.

When he was a little baby we would go to the store and get the "triangle" stare. Me, my husband, and a obviously mixed child. Which one of these thing are not like the others ....right?

Initially, I shied away from people. I can't put my finger on the emotion but definitely uncomfortable. I wanted to stay home so I didn't have to feel that way.

One day I was in a store with my son and sister (white also). An older white women made a comment to her companion about how I was too pretty to have done that. She looked at my son like he was dirty. I felt this rage come over me. I put it in check immediately though. I hugged my son and smiled really big for him so he wouldn't know I was upset. I walked him away but gave my sister a knowing glance. She has a tendency to be mouthy so she put the woman in her place.

That night I put a lot of thought into it. I needed to make sure my son was protected from me. Yes, me! How was he going to have a good self image if I run away from dirty looks or rude comments. I am proud of him, to be his Mother, to be blessed with him. I don't care what some small minded person thinks.

He is still too little to understand but I plan to tell him that there will be people like that and there is something wrong with THEM! When he encounters them, to feel sorry for them. They are sad, pathetic people who weren't taught any better. They don't understand that God made people in every color and he loves them all.

I hold my head up higher now. I hold the the glare of anyone who gives me a dirty look. They always look away. I stopped worrying about what other people think. It's freeing!!! I hope my son is as proud of me as I am of him someday. That he is proud to be himself....Irish, English, French, African, Native Indian, and Hispanic....beautiful inside and out. My son!!!

Aug 04, 2010
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Your children are beautiful and black
by: Anonymous

Your children are so cute! I do not understand why people might think you are not their mother. They are clearly more than half black. Nevertheless, your kids can feel proud of their biracial heredity.

Jul 29, 2010
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Biracial Grandchildren - Understanding is the key
by: Anonymous

I think all children are beautiful regardless of their heritage. Unfortunately, many people lack the understanding necessary to see the beauty in all children.

Both my children married into other cultures. Which is indicative of how I raised them. I provided the opportunity to travel and visit other cultures and interact with other people and nationalities. They were taught to respect and understand people of other races, and also to be proud of their own heritage.

As a grandmother of five beautiful biracial children, they are the joy of my life and unique in their own ways. My next to the oldest grand daughter was born with blond hair and white skin. When she was young, many people did not believe she was my grand daughter because of my light brown skin.

When she approached her terrible two's, I had to take care in dealing with her in the public. On one occasion, she cried so loud because I would not give her a toy, the manager of the store wanted to know whether I was watching her for someone and where was her mother. When I told him that I was her grandmother, he looked as though he wanted some proof.

So, I can relate to your concerns about what is the matter with people. However, I believe the problem lies within the people and their mindsets. They are the ones that need to change. For me, I will continue to live and enjoy being blessed with five beautiful biracial grandchildren.

Mar 01, 2010
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Children Are Part Black
by: Stacy

I can easily see your children are part black.
People need to open their eyes and realize that kids do not have to be the spitting image of the parents.

Site Build It!

Jan 23, 2010
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I can relate
by: Anonymous

I'm the mother of a child of color. To some as biracial. I just want to encourage you with these words: there is only one race and it's the human race.

I have been at the grocery store and white women actually grab their mate as if they were afraid I would approach their mate.

My son looks as if he is black and white but he is Hispanic and Black however, I am a light brown. His father is a tan color but our child is lighter than the both of us.

So as I stated, teach your children that there are cruel people out there who may question who they are. All I can say is teach them to understand that we all are beautiful and of the human race. That way no one can take who they are away from them.

Aug 24, 2009
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I understand
by: Christina L.

I completely understand your frustration with people trying to tell you that your children are not your own. I myself have two biracical children and they are light in tone and I am dark brown and my husband is white.

I stood in Kroger's grocery store for an hour trying to tell this woman that my daughter was not my grandchild and that I did not have a son that fathered a child with a white girl. It is ridiculous how people are so set in their mindset that you have to prove yourself to them. I have learned the only person I need to prove myself is to me and my children. My children are my world to me and my husband.

We have repeatedly told the school community we will not label our children to one race because that is not who they are. They are mixture of two cultures and they are to be accepted as such. When both of my children were born, they were classified as black because I myself am black which made my husband feel like crap. When will the world understand that two races does not make a whole?

May 16, 2009
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Biracial Kids
by: Anonymous

Your kids are clearly part black. They're light, but their facial features give it away and their hair as well.

Mar 27, 2009
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Beautiful children :)
by: Tanya

Your children are VERY!!beautiful :) very cute kids people are going to judge no matter what. I believe it's ignorance. I am white. I do not have children, but I have dated interracially. I got the looks, the comments, etc, but I kept my head up and ignored that.

Just keep your head up high and the big thing is to teach the generations to come that all humans are equal. Treat those the way you want to be treated.

I was raised that way from my parents. I try to keep it going :) and also teach them that no matter what, they are beautiful.

And from a woman who was told she cannot have children, I personally want to tell you that you are very lucky to have such beautiful children :) Thank you and have a great day :) Tanya

Dec 04, 2008
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The Bi-racial Question?
by: EnochSpeaks

When you are married outside your race there will always be people who will attempt to attach a label to you and your children. One of the main reasons is because of their own insecurities.
My father was a Sephardic Jew of African and Cherokee Indian descent. Everywhere I went I was treated like a stranger by African-Americans, Native Americans, and the Jewish community. On the best of days in dealing with my tri-racial and culture communities I had to put my shields up because ignorant remarks were the norm. Even from educated people who had degrees the understanding of bi-racial and tri-racial children was not there.
Society at large defined me as a Black man period. Worst still was that they categorized me as being dangerous, because being a Black man meant I was a potential criminal. Black males is the term local and state police still use today in describing dangerous Black men as being danger to the community.
I have had to develop and invent my own identity in order to maneuver through dangerous situations. I had to adapt in order to be able to survive in a hostile environment. Your children lives may depend on their survivability skills when they step outside their safe and secure environment.


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