Understanding Shana

by Jack
(Palm Beach Gardens,FL)

Shana is a 31yr old Brazilian female whom I have met and fallen in love with. She has most of the symptoms of incest and is at an emotionally critical stage in her life. I am researching incest and trying to learn what I can do to help her become a confident, mature,emotionally secure adult. She is employed, but, her father has cost her several jobs because at work, he can't control her.

She is seeing a psychologist and taking depression medication. She has a strange relationship with her father, whom I suspect is the molester in this case. Most of the time Shana is a 13-14yr old child, sometimes the small part of her that is 31 comes out. I have never mentioned incest to her, I don't think she will ever admit it, at least not at this stage of our relationship, which is totally non-sexual.

At times Shana is the most innocent, sweet, loving person/child that you would ever want to meet, but she lives with her parents, always in total fear of her father, yet she tells me that she loves him, he is her father! In her family, no one thinks she is sane, and I am the only one who totally supports her efforts to assume an adult thinking and feeling way of life, her parents dominate her like a Taliban member, no close friends, male or female, eve dropping on all phone calls, not allowed to go anywhere by herself, room searched, pocketbood searched,constantly telling her that she is "sick" ( she is diabetic ) and they are just trying to protect her.

I think that the father molested her over an extended period of time and that the mother knows about it, and their repressive treatment of Shana is a effort to hide this evil.

I pray to God that he gives me the knowledge, strength, and understanding to help Shana.

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