Troubled Child

by Chancey Brown
(Florence Al)

My Beauties

My Beauties

Child Behavior Problems

Troubled Child Help

I have 2 kids, my daughter who is about to turn 15 and a son who is 12. I had them at an early age and I have raised them on my own. I have a wonderful husband, but he is out of town most of the time and he is not the kids' father.

My daughter is mostly pretty good but she is extremely lazy and does not do well in school. My son is my problem child. He will not listen to me at all. I seem to be getting on to him more than I can show him love and it breaks my heart.

He is a sweet boy and very loving, but he refuses to do anything I tell him to do and he has recently got suspended from school for telling another kid he was going to kill him. He said it was a game and that he was playing and I believe that is true, but he thinks it's funny and I told him that he cannot be doing things like that playing or not, but I do not think he was listening as usual.

I have been dealing with stuff like this all his life. He has stolen money from me, lied to me many times, and he is very bright but refuses to do any school work. I have taken him to a JPO but he isn't going to do anything but talk. I need troubled child help really bad, I am at the point to where I have no hope left and I do not want to feel this way.

It has put a strain on my marriage and my daughter feels ignored because most of my time is spent with him because if I do not watch him closely, he may burn the house down or something in that matter. He is almost 13 and he acts 6 most of the time and I do not know what to do to help him I have tried many things and nothing seems to do any good.

People keep telling me that a troubled child needs a father, but he does not have one because their father is in and out of jail and does not see the kids at all and has never really been in their lives. They know who he is but they do not want to see him because they do not know him and I guess they feel abandoned by him. I try to let them know that he does love them, so they will not dwell on him so much, but they don't believe me.

I really needs some kind of help so I can gain back my sanity and so that my kids can live a normal life and grow up to be mature and respectful adults.

Desperate and confused,

Almost Hopeless

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Apr 06, 2010
Help for Troubled Children
by: Laura Ramirez

Help for Troubled Children

Dear Desperate and Confused,

First of all, you have two beautiful children. Thank you for reaching out, so you can get them the help that they need.

Second, it's important to recognize that your children have been abandoned by their father and they are victims of those feelings of being left behind by someone who was supposed to love and protect them. Despite this, you need to do all you can to get them back on track, so they can lead happy, productive lives as adults.

Third, your children don't believe their birth father loves them because he is not in their lives. If he loved them, he would do everything in his power to spend time with them. Don't make up stories to make your kids feel better, instead, teach them how to deal with reality.

Fourth, it sounds like your son might have a conduct disorder. Don't feel bad if your attempts at discipline have failed because parents of such children need to use different strategies than their parents used.

Understand that you must take action now because if you allow your son's behavior to slide, it will get worse as he becomes a teenager and the hormones kick in. I recommend that you get your son into therapy or use the Total Transformation, a behavioral change program that was designed to show parents how to turn around their kids. This program is will also benefit your daughter and is geared to kids with a conduct disorder. The key is to listen to the instructions and apply them. In order to change your kids, you need to change how you interact with them.

Although it might be hard at first, remember that by turning your kids around, you are quite literally saving their lives. After all, you don't want to end up like their birth father, in and out of jail. I hope this helps you and your family.

Help for Troubled Children or call 1-866-798-8629.

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