Tired of ignorant people

I have a bi-racial 9 year old daughter and a son on the way. I am Caucasian, from Northern Europe and my husband is black American. I had a part time job a while ago at a place where I was around mainly black people. My daughter was back then only 4 or so. The ladies there used to tell me that I don't raise my daughter as black and I should. They kept saying to braid her hair and put different stuff on her hair. I never liked the braids and cornrows hair styles. Then there were many comments about the stores I shop for my daughters clothes. I was asked why I don't buy her black style clothes. I never thought of dressing her as related to black or white. I always got things I thought are cute, like gap, Gymboree, some old navy. My husband said I have to ignore such comments.

We live in a predominantly "white" neighborhood and aside from my daughter there is one more bi-racial student at her class. Therefore, most of our friends are white, like our neighbors, parents at the school, and at our church. My daughter now is old enough to fix her own hair and she just puts it in a ponytail or leave it down with headband. She is beautiful, confident and smart.

Last week,while at the doctor's I ran into a girl from my old job. I ended up giving her a ride home. On the way, my daughter listened to her music, like Taylor Swift, Adele and Katy Perry stuff, and this girl right away commented that I still keep raising her "white", and because of this she would have problems in her teen years. She said that I'm not from here and don't know how middle and high schools can be and that she could be bullied at school. Her music preferences come from me and her dad probably, because this is the music we listen to as well.

I told her that I raise her the best I can! My daughter mentioned that she does water polo and golf with her dad and my ex coworker said that those are also very "white" sports. I should let her do basketball. They play basketball at their school and my daughter says she dislikes it, because she can never get the ball inside :)

I feel I can't deal with this ignorance! It is true that we don't have many black friends, our friends are mainly people from work and our neighbors. My husband's mom passed 10 years ago and so did his grandparents. He never met his dad, and his mom never remarried, he is only child, so he doesn't have much family to meet. Just a few relatives living across the country, to whom we talk on the phone. We go to my country twice a year however and we are very close to my side of the family.

Do you think my daughter may have problems as teenager? I don't think she would, but just wondering if someone had similar experience?
My husband is even thinking we can relocate to Europe if I'm not comfortable to continue living here. At least we would be close to family!
Thanks for the time to read my post :)

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Jun 17, 2015
Good post NEW
by: Claudine Gutmann

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Mar 22, 2015
Raising a Biracial Child as One Race or Another
by: Laura

As a mother of biracial children, I think it's important to expose children to both sides of their heritage and it is also important for children of color to have friends in similar situations and mentors from both sides of their culture. This will give the child a sense of belonging to both cultures.

You can read more about my philosophy and practices in my book, Keepers of the Children. I think it would be helpful for you.

Thank you for reaching out.

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