Teenagers and Drugs

by Depressed Parent
(Pennsylvania)

My son has a girlfriend who he met about 1 1/2 ago. He was 17 at the time and she was 20. As soon as he began seeing her we started having problems. For one thing we found that he was smoking pot and confronted him but he would say it does nothing to you and he likes it! He would try to stay out all night at his girlfriend's house saying that he "fell" asleep, he began not being able to wake up for work (during the summer)and he just started separating himself from the family. His senior year of high school was horrible. He was refusing to get up for school and arguing every time we would try to talk to him. At one point he wanted to quit school but I got him into a virtual school so he just graduated. Well as soon as he turned 18 which was around the end of May he just left to live with his girlfriend and has been cutting us off. He refuses to come to any family functions or even eat with us. He was coming around to borrow the car but I finally had it and told him that if he can't come to family get-togethers then he can't use the car. The most frustrating thing about this whole situation is that his girlfriend lives with her parents and I am sure they know that they are doing drugs in their house and refuse to do anything about the situation. I have tried contacting them several times and they actually lie to me that he isn't there or they are not doing anything. I have never met his girlfriend, he refuses to let us meet her, he has cut off his siblings, cousins and all of his friends. I tried sending him to counseling but he refused to go after about a month and a half then I found out through his sister that he was lying to the therapist. We have offered over and over to help him in anyway but he completely refuses to bother with us. I just recently found out that his girlfriend was picked up last year for drug paraphernalia at about the same time he met her. Right now I am just refusing to give in and I am not going to chase after him or enable him but I hate this that he completely refuses to speak to me at all, especially around the holidays. Does anyone have a suggestion?

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Sep 30, 2015
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Teenagers NEW
by: Anonymous

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Aug 25, 2012
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Update 9 months later
by: Anonymous

Well, things have changed a lot in the past couple of months. It finally came to a head when my son showed up to say that his girlfriend was 7 mos. pregnant and did not know she was until a couple of weeks ago. I felt the blood drain out of me. She ended up having the baby early and I went to the hospital to see them. We met on friendly terms and since the birth things have been looking up. My son and his girlfriend cleaned up. The baby motivated them. My son started contacting me for help with insurance, pediatricians, etec. He recently started showing up to his grandparents to visit with the baby and stays for hours. He got a full time job right before the baby was born and still has it. He is even accepting help from us and acting normal by joking around with his siblings. I feel like I am finally getting my son back. Things are not all perfect, like his girlfriend. I have only been in the same room with her once, in the hospital. I would like to try and have a relationship with her but I know this will take time. I just wanted anybody else out there who is depressed or feels at a loss of what to do to know to hang in there. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Don't give up and don't blame yourself. There is only so much you can do and hopefully your child will choose to do the right thing. Good luck.

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