Teen Daughter is Dating a Girl

by Laura
(Tampa, Fl. USA)

Help! I found out that my 13-year old teen daughter is dating a girl!

How do I handle this situation and is it normal? I gave my 13 year old daughter a cell phone for her birthday. I had her wait until well after her friends had their phones thinking I was making a better decision.

After an expensive "text" bill, I found out that she was texting someone "hundreds" of times per day. She lied about who it was, and when I looked into the matter myself, I found out that all the texts were to a girl and couldn't for the life of me figure out why she was not being truthful.

After many days of pressure on her to tell me the truth, she told me that she and this girl were "going out" even though this girl is someone she only sees at school, she has never been to our house, they do not talk on the phone, etc.

My daughter says that she likes boys and doesn't know why she likes this girl. She has changed her story from the girl pressured her, that it was a bet, to she liked a boy that this girl was always with ... she has lied so much about this that I don't know what is true and not.

I took the text option off her phone and have continued to monitor the phone numbers and calls. The only contact that she had with this girl was in class, so I thought it was over until I found a note dated last week about how much this girl "loves" her, wants to "be" with her forever, how amazing that my daughter is, etc.

I asked my daughter about the relationship/friendship and she told me that she only says hi in class. I told her about the note and that it didn't sound like it was just hi in class and confronted her about lying to me yet again about this situation.

I can't seem to get the truth out of her. I have even told my daughter from the beginning that all I want is the truth no matter what it is and that I would love her no matter what and that she could trust me but if this "girl" is getting her to do things she doesn't believe in... then I have a problem with that!

Do I just let the situation go or should I keep digging at her for the truth and continue to limit what she does and give her restiction until the truth is out and I get to the bottom of what is going on. This is something that I would have NEVER imagined that I would EVER have to deal with regarding my daughter.

Thanks for any input!
Concerned Mom