Teen Behaviour

I have a 14 year old son (my only child), who was an angel until now and is starting to show teen behaviour that is troubling.

I really enjoyed bringing him up. He was an obedient, respectful and happy child and an intelligent, straight A student. I brought him up almost like a single mom because my husband travels a lot, and when he is home, he is still involved with his email and internet, does not care to spend any family time other than watching movies on weekends, which is his favorite pastime.

I recently started a full time job (1.5 yrs ago) as I thought my son has now grown up and I should be able to spend some time for my own career. In fact, I went back to school to do a Masters and then started working. I was under the impression that I am setting a good example for my son to value family, education and career. But, what I experiencing recently is completely the opposite.

My son wants to spend as much time as possible playing video/computer games, watching TV, and is ignoring his studies. His grades have started to fall. From straight A student, he now gets a couple of C's, couple of B's and an A. He doesn't seem to be concerned about his falling grades. This teen behaviour is troubling.

When I review with him, he knows the material, but does not care to submit his assignments on time. He is also developing anger and shows it when I try to tell him to concentrate on his studies and maintain good grades, so that he can go to a high ranking university.

I also helped him make a time table for the days and weekends, so that he can enjoy life and stay on top of his grades, but he doesn't follow it for more than a few days.

In the past 4-5 months there have been three major incidents when he totally lost his temper. In the first incident he threw his laptop, almost broke it; in the second, he threw his phone, we had to send it for repair; and third time he threw an object at me and hurt me.

My husband doesn't seem to care about his falling grades. He thinks I am demanding too much from a 14 year old, that this teen behaviour is somewhat normal and expresses these feelings in front of my son. My son seems to take advantage of his dad’s views and blames me. I have tried to discuss this problem with my husband, but he's not an easy person. He thinks he knows best and does not care for my efforts and opinion.

Being an immigrant, I am living far away from the rest of my family members. I don't know who to ask for help or unbiased advice. Please advise me on this teen behaviour and how I can continue to help my son be happy, and successful, fine young man.

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