Teaching Child Respect and Respect for Parent

Parenting Question and Answer

Dear Laura,

Teaching child respect has been an issue for my son and I. For the past two years, we have lived at my mother's house while I worked and saved up enough money to move back out on my own after a devastating divorce. The entire time I was staying with her, my mother treated me with disrespect and now, my son treats me this way too. How do instill a sense of respect for parent?

Signed,
Mother of a Disrespectful Kid

Dear Mother,

For the past two years, your son has learned a lack of respect for parent as modeled by your mother. The first thing you need to do is talk to her. Cite the ways in which she's treated you with disrespect and link this to how your son is treating you. Help her to see the connection—how she's taught him to treat you with disrespect.

Of course another equally important method of teaching child respect is to make sure you're worthy of it. This means you must be there for your child during the tough times, during the struggles as well as the fun and happy moments. If you are able to guide your child through difficulties, he will naturally look up to you and treat you with respect. As you're teaching him how to treat you, remember that there is no magic bullet: teaching child respect is a process. It is going to take some time for him to learn to treat you differently.

Once you and your child are solid in your relationship, allow your mother back into your life with the provision that she will treat you as an individual who is worthy of respect. Showing her how your son treats you with respect will command her respect. In this way, three generations of your family can learn how to treat each other with care, respect and kindness.

About the author: Laura Ramirez is the author of the award-winning book, Keepers of the Children. If you want are interested in methods of teaching child respect check out her book. Laura has a degree in psychology, teaches parenting classes online and lives with her husband and two children in the sage-dotted foothills of Northern Nevada.

Parenting