Stressed Out Mom

by sag
(san antonio tx USA )

I'm pretty desperate right now and sometimes I believe that the situation I am living at the moment will end up destroying my family. I met Joe about 6 years ago, he had a daughter and I had a daughter from previous relationships. Though, I didn't meet his daughter until about 2 years later, my daughter was always in the picture. I now can see that from the get go, she felt as though she had to compete for my attention. She didn't like my new relationship and always prefered to be with my parents (her gramma & grampa ).


About 3 years ago I put my foot down and made her come with me, I was pregnant at the time and very soon after I had my second daughter, I got pregnant again and had a boy. So now, I have 3 children, my oldest that is 9, my baby girl that is 2 and my son is 1. Joe's daughter for the past 3 to 4 years has been coming to our home for every vacation (including the whole summer) every holiday, and basically any time we could get her up here to be with her Dad (her mother lives about 4 1/2 hours from where we live).

Now this year, her mother seems to have started a relationship with someone and she didn't like the guy, so her mother agreed to have come stay with us for the remainder of the school year right after Thanksgiving break.

Since then, it has been nothing but DRAMA in my house. Me and Joe have problems with each other because of the problems the girls have them selves. They do not get along most of the time and it really stresses me out.

Joe's daughter is 10 and considerably bigger than my daughter. We have found out that she was black mailing my daughter for months, threatening her with telling on her for something they both did, and more but she would not tell my kid what else she would tell me. So kinda like playing games with her head.

Now that we know and we got after her for it, it's like my kid just won't stop telling on her for everything. They give each other attitude all the time and I just feel like I'm imposing this whole new family to my daughter, her brother and sister by another dad, her step dad and a step sister.

My daughter's dad is not in the picture what so ever, and the only fatherly figure she has is my dad. Sometimes I feel like just quitting! I think things are just getting too complicated, I feel like I don't give my kids the attention they need already, and having another kid here, it's just becoming more and more stressful for me. When it's not one thing, it's another.

I don't know what to do, but I feel like I'm on the verge of just quitting and leaving my relationship because of the children we had prior to getting together. Please help, I really need some guidance.

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Mar 02, 2010
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Send your kids to Grandmas
by: Dr. Angie in Dubai

Send your kids to Grandmas and tell your husband that you're doing it because you need time for yourself and to de-stress. Come up with a clear plan and timeline as to when, how and for how long the eldest of your children, at least, will be at the Grandparents.

Then, see if your husband can give his daughter a list of chores to do around the house -- that also involve helping you with the babies. I know she'll rebel but I think two things will eventually happen: 1) she'll start liking her Mom's new guy or 2) she'll start feeling like part of this family.

Good luck, God Bless.

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