Stepson Doesn't Know How to Do for Himself

by Loren Evans
(Kermit, WV,USA)

I am married to a man with 3 children and we have one of our own. There is a nine year old boy, 10 year old girl, and another 6 year old girl and I have a 5 month old boy. We have been together for 3 years and have always had full custody of the children who have very little contact with their birth mother.

Until I got with my husband his mother pretty much was raising the children because he has to work all the time. I'm really having many problems with the 9 year old boy. He has a really bad habit of telling lies about me to his father. Kind of like he's trying to get me in "trouble." He likes to tell what I like to call "half truths" about situations that happen while dad is at work. He also has absolutely no self awareness. (I guess that's what you would call it)

He makes great grades in school and is a normal student with many friends. He still has problems with dressing himself, cleaning himself, tying his shoes, zipping his coat, he has to be told to do things that my 6 year old has no trouble doing such as brushing his teeth, not letting his crack hang out of his pants, wiping his food off of his face etc.

The most simple tasks seem to be so confusing for him. As you can imagine I have a full time job as a teacher and have a very busy schedule. He is slower than Christmas at everything he does. This gets very frustrating with both me and my husband. I think that grandma ruined him and now he doesnt know how to do things for himself. WHAT CAN WE DO?