not the best approach from the start,perhaps by: Anonymous
i think it is the role of the natural parent to do ANY disciplining. once you get caught up in that place, you become the enemy, and why should a step son listen to you?#1. He's at that age, where nothing any adult says seems worthy of listening to , and #2. his own father never says anything, and by all rights, he's the only one that matters here. So you set yourself up from the beginning by thinking you have any rights to discipline-that is HIS FATHER'S JOB.
Now it's a big mess. Obviously, he came back for something. He's not truly ready to have left the nest. So tell your husband to care enough to do his job and pay strict attention to his son, so that your role is no longer compromised. And try staying out of the boy's life for a little while, step back, admit to him that you were wrong, and that you did it only because his dad wasn't doing his job. Try to just be an understanding adult, who can give him advise, and leave the disciplining up to his father.
Jan 10, 2011 Rating
Stepson Won't Leave Home by: Anonymous
Carolyn. I wish I had some sort of advice to give you that would help your problem. we are in the same situation, with one exception, I have raised our adult problem since he was five.
He took off at 18 because I would not allow him to sit around watching TV without doing anything to further his position in life. He left, married and had a child. He is now back. He works but blows all of his money on stupid stuff. He doesn't help out financially nor by chores. He downright refuses to hear anything I have to say. I am about as confused as I can be.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one. I have done some research on the Peter Pan syndrome, but I don't feel as though it relates to my situation as the kids the studies were talking about were staying at home in order to better themselves and prepare for the future by attending college, saving for their future and getting ready for life. My son is not doing this, he is enjoying his life and allowing us to carry him. So as long as we are in the same boat, pass the minnows please. I will keep you in prayer.
Jul 13, 2009 Rating
Get him out! by: Anonymous
The previous commenter is right: you made your bed yourself, you are to blame. He took advantage of you.
Tell him to get the fuck out. Make his life a living hell. Give your husband an ultimatum, it's you or his bastard son. Tell him that this "son" is damaging your health, you suffer from it. If your husband doesn't care and you are not more important to him, why do you need such a husband? If you don't stand for yourself, and fight for your rights, you deserve to be treated like shit.
Call the police if needed. Tell them it's your house, and he doesn't live there, you don't want to tolerate him.
Jul 07, 2009 Rating
no one forced you by: Anonymous
No one forced to marry someone with kids. There are plenty of people out there with no baggage (no kids). So if you chose to be with someone who has a kid then that's your decision. Stop complaining.
