Step Son Problems

by Anna
(California)

Step Son Problems

I'm at a loss here. I have a 17 year old step son. I have been with my husband for 7 years now, and have been the bad guy with the household rules the whole time.

I have 3 kids with my husband and I expect respect. Both my husband and his ex both would rather not fight with the kid or deal with him period. From day one, they taught him that the more annoying he is the more money they would give him to just go away and play. They just did not want to be bugged or annoyed.

That was so off base for me. I was taught that it was a privilege to go hang out with friends and if I wanted money and that privilege then I had to earn it.

My stepson is as disrespectful as ever now. After sitting by for weeks listening to the husband complain about how the kid never listens and steals, and is disrespectful, I finally had enough and threw away the kids ear gages, omg ww3! He threatened to kill me and kick my car window, dad was standing right there. Still no consequences!

My husband just says he is almost 18 and I can't do anything short of kicking his ass. I am waiting for the husband and ex to set consequences for the boy's actions but it's just not happening. I have 3 kids with this man. I am the bad guy here too. Daddy says doesn't do anything and they don't listen to him either. They too run over him. I have to step in and say daddy told you to turn off the tv or whatever the case is because he just says, "Oh, okay then," and goes outside.

My stepson is signing up for the army guard today for the second time, They told him they would pay him $200 to go and take the test in December. He did that and as soon as he got the check, he called them and told them he changed his mind. He just wanted the money! He needs some money again seeing he has no job! In his own words: "easy money."

He says he has 3 months till he goes to boot camp and will do as he pleases till then. He's an adult and can make his own choices. We don't have to worry about these step son problems because he will be leaving home.

Fine and dandy but he still lives here and is only 17. His mom refuses to let him move in there and he is threaetning to move out because it's just too much to ask of him to be accountable.
I tell him that these are our house rules no matter how old you are.

Dad just says to ignore him and everything he says and does.
I can't though. It's driving me nuts. He's a huge influence on my 3 kids. They hear and see everything.

I'm not sure what to do. Do we just let him come and go as he pleases with no rules, or responsibilities?
His parents both say hes almost 18, let him figure it out... But what is that teaching him? That his parents just don't care??

I'm tired of being the bad guy or having every one tell me I am.
I feel as if I'm the only one trying to push this boy in the right direction and it stinks! And it's causing me to resent my husband for not being a better father.