Step parents ability to understand parenting role

I am interested in advice, books or other resources on the challenges of when a step parent does not have children of his or her own. I am a biological parent, but my husband does not have any children of his own. We married when he was in his 40s (I in my 30s) and my daughter is a teenager. In many ways he's a good step dad but we've had some arguments and misunderstandings and it has struck me that he just does not understand what it is like being a parent. For example, not understanding the need for a parent to have someone to vent to about parenting frustrations and that it doesn't mean you truly dislike or are critical of your child, or putting too much emphasis on holding off on things and making plans for when the child leaves, as if life starts then.

I don't want to suggest that he doesn't accept my daughter, just that he was far too set in his ways and accustomed to being childless when he met me. I've been looking for help on this but all resources I've found have focused on blended families, i.e., when both have kids, or on how children adjust to step parents, and how childless people adjust to being step parents. But nothing on how it can be hard on the one spouse who has kids in handling the mindset/cultural disconnect that can occur with someone who has not been a parent directly and how the biological parent can cope with it or learn to communicate related issues better. If anyone can help me with this I'd appreciate it.

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Feb 03, 2016
In the same boat as you NEW
by: Anonymous

It has been very difficult in finding books referring to one parent living with one without kids. I am also really struggling with my boyfriend understanding how kids really are. it is so different when you actually have your own children. My boyfriend is very literal and we took some love and logic classes and he has taken those so literal, it hasn't really helped him. I took some ideas from the class but really want a step parent class.

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