Thank you for the info. I also suggested we have a family intervention which I know when it comes down to it, his family would agree to do. My husband doesn't think he could get his son to come to it. I have considered the video camera idea, but sorta feel like I am trying to point the finger. My husband would see this and be pretty upset, but on the other hand, he has also been commenting on his missing tools, so I think he is figuring it out....
Jan 27, 2009 Rating
Problem with Grown Stepson by: Laura Ramirez
Hi Karen,
Your grown stepson's behavior is affecting the quality of your life and your relationship with your husband, so you have every right to make your feelings known. You have every right to object to his behavior?for instance, you do not have to tolerate him stealing from you. I don't care if it's just kibble for his dogs.
Your husband needs to confront his son, but first, I think you should have unrefutable evidence. Perhaps you could set up a video camera in your garage. When you're dealing with someone (your stepson) who lies and probably does drugs, you need to confront him with proof of his behavior.
Tell your husband that I said by failing to confront his son, he is enabling him. This will prevent him from becoming an adult who take responsibility for himself and his actions.
If your husband has difficulty with this, then I suggest that he learn how to deal with the behavior of his son by getting this behavioral program. Although I generally recommend this to parents whose children are still living in the home, this will help your husband learn strategies for nipping this behavior in the bud.
It's important that you both follow through on this. Doing so could mean saving your stepson's life because eventually, his behavior is going to get him into serious trouble and ruin his relationships with family and friends.
Hope this helps. Thanks for having the courage to share your story.
