single grandparent raising grandchild

by Judi

I am a 56yr old single grandparent. I have four grown up children. I have six grandchildren.

I have been raising my 8yr old grand daughter for 5 years due to her being removed during an early morning police raid due to my youngest daughter's involvement with drugs. My daughter is a crack, heroin user and prostitute.

I have suffered badly in the past with depression. I still get low at times now. We get no support and no financial help like foster care givers do.

I went to court two years ago to try to get residence allowance. I was awarded £90 per week. Social services did not say a time span in court. They only paid me for 7 months then it stopped. I have been trying ever since to get it back to court but my solicitor is useless.

I have advertised twice in the past to find another single grandparent raising a grandchild alone but have been unsuccessful. Its very hard alone.

Also if i were a foster carer, I would be classified as working. I have been out of work for 6 years due to my depression but now I have been told that because my granddaughter is 8, I must return to work.

I don't know who will look after her while I work as I don't have a family support network or friends. Don't want to leave her with strangers she has been through enough.

I also don't feel that I could hold down a regular job due to how stressed I am and how low I get at times.

I am worried about how much to say about how I feel in case they take my grand daughter away from me. She is not in any danger. I love her to bits. That's why I took her on. Could just do with some support or someone in same position to share with.

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Jan 12, 2011
Single Grandparenting Issues
by: Laura Ramirez

Judi and Charleen,

Thank you for sharing your stories about the struggles you're facing as single grandparents. I am the owner of this site and rest assured, it is safe to post your comments on this site. Since you are just using your first names, no one can identify you in any way.

I encourage you to talk back and forth about the real issues that you face as it is a good way of relieving stress and sharing your triumphs and burdens and ultimately, will help other grandparents who are in the same boat.

Thanks to each of you for starting and continuing the conversation. Hopefully, other grandparents will join in as well.

To help, I have created a new section on the parenting message boards called grandparents raising grandchildren where you can bring up issues, share stories and support one another. (Please allow 24 hours for this section to go live.)

Jan 10, 2011
I completely understand
by: Anonymous

Hello Judi! I really do understand where you're coming from. I'm a single grandparent with 3 grown children and am raising my 14 month old grandson cause his momma/my daughter got involved with drugs/guns & thugs! And I sure do understand the depression and feeling that you have no where to turn for help.

Lots of people have said they would help, but when it comes right down to it, they don't want to get involved. And yup, you're right, if we were both "credited foster parents" there would be all types of assistance and help. And yup again, sometimes you got to be careful what you say cause you never know who's monitoring your actions.

I wish there was more I could say to you in this post, but I'm a little unsure of what is and isn't safe to say too. Sometimes it helps just to have someone to talk to who's been there and done that and maybe going through some of the same feelings and things. Are we allowed to give each other email addresses on here? I'd really like to talk with you more.


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