Shunned By Siblings After Mom's Death
In my 37th year I went through divorce and feelings of helplessness because my brother and Father still verbally perpetrated me and Mom hated me. I escaped the family fold for ten years.
After Dad died my sister tried to reunite me with Mom. A cousin clued me in that Mom "dreaded" meeting with me, so it would be another year before we did meet. It went ok.
It was after, when the same sister pulled one of her stunts. Mom asked if there was anything she could do. I was going through terrible health problems from removal of mercury from my teeth. The dentist had performed root canals in the back molars and recommended crowns. So I said yes, if she could pay for the dental work that would be great. 3x in a dentist chair to get the work done and each time told Mom cancelled payment just before I got there. (She had my brother come the 2nd time to see if it was legit or if I was wasting her money, he told her after meeting with the dentist it was needed).
This last time I called to ask why, she said your sister said you should get all of your ugly teeth pulled and get dentures. I told her the crowns were for anchors for future dentures, she stood firm she wasn't going to pay. The same sister just got back from Belize and was going on another trip to Mejagorie the next week on Mom's dime. That was more important then Mom spending money on my teeth. You guessed it, she was the golden child who got whatever she wanted.
I left town to move closer to my daughter and far from family. Mom and I kept up communication and actually got to like each other. My sister couldn't interfere with us.
At Dad's directive I was left off the will, but Mom had a ledger she had entered all that anyone ever borrowed. She showed it to my son whom she trusted implicitly (she was upset with the rest of my siblings because they constantly drained her for money and she wasn't trusting them) and her wishes were to have the money divided equally.
After Mom died he brought that up and they denied any
such entry in the ledger and went by the will only. To soothe their consciences they gave me a split of what was in the bank. Enough to buy a used car and fix a few things around home.
Meantime my siblings are buying BMW's and new houses (Mom was quite wealthy) and think nothing of how they divided things, they have nothing to worry about. I am on disability and dependent on the government. They feel I got what I deserved and should consider myself lucky they thought of me and gave me what they did. I told them I knew about the ledger and they are not following Mom's final wishes. Since they deny it exists, for me to make a fuss I am an ingrate.
I have since read up on dynamics of incest family and their rejection is commonplace, especially when money is involved. I also learned the biggest problem with the family is they are all narcisstic and in the case of my sister I would say she is also sociopath. She will eat a person alive to get what she wants and is extremely mean-spirited when she doesn't.
I told them I divorce myself from the family evil and to not contact me. It was hard at first dealing with their betrayal. As I told them, they could've changed the wrongs and made it right for all of us and we could've all been made whole. They chose to put me in the same hole as my parents did and treat me indifferently and I don't accept that, we are done!
I get sad for what never was, a happy family, but I am also feeling freer a piece at a time. I don't have to do this sick family anymore. They said I was ruining my family, my kids. They are adult and made their own choices not to have anything to do with them. They think it is a pretty sick family from what they witnessed from their actions and how they treated me. They only have themselves to blame for that. I won't make myself available again for them to dump on me or blame me for anything again. They can tear each other up now because I am out of the picture.