Separation Anxiety

by Katy
(Canada)


Is this separation anxiety?


In May 2010, my husband had to start a new job in Alberta, Canada, while me and our 3 year old twin sons stayed in British Columbia until he got the business up and running and was ready to have us move out there as well. It has taken a while but we are finally going to be moving out there for November.

In September we moved in with my Sister and her family to spend some time with them before we moved away. I know my kids are going through a lot, their Dad has been gone for almost 6 months and we have moved from their home.

Since we have moved in with my sister and her family my sons have become extremely attached to me. I can't even go to the bathroom without them crying and trying to open the door. Also, whenever my brother-in-law comes anywhere near them they start to cry and freak out. He is a great guy, however he has PTSD and severe back and neck pain. He cannot play with them and he doesn't really smile much.

My sister says they are showing signs of living with someone with PTSD, as she's gone to PTSD support groups. They are fine with other men, but all the other men they have been around have been able to play and rough house with them.

I need any advice you can give me to deal with this situation. I feel like I am drowning sometimes. They cling to me constantly, follow me everywhere, and if I try to go somewhere without them they freak out, even if I'm just going downstairs and coming right back.

And if I can get them calmed down and leave the room to do something, and their Uncle goes in the room they're in, they just start to cry and cry. They are also very defiant and don't listen most of the time. I know a lot has to do with their age and everything they are going through, but I need some help. How can I help them?

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