scared of his daddy

by Alexxa S.
(arlington, va )

I'm not sure where to begin. I feel so helpless but I'm wondering if I'm the only single mother out there with this problem? My 15 month old son is scared of his father. He is an extremely friendly child and loves to be around people to the point that it worries me that he will walk off with a stranger (a story for another day).

However, he is scared of his dad. He starts to cry the second he sees him. My son's father and I are just now beginning to work on a relationship, but we went through the whole custody battle when our son was an infant (2 months to be exact) and like many women in this situation, I took my lawyer's advice despite what my heart and my morals were telling me.

I stopped all visitation since we did not have a court agreement and I was not certain that I would get my son back at the end of the visit. My son's father did not see him for a good 2 months or so.

Once visitation started back up, whenever he would pick him up from my house, he would cry bloody murder and he was just a few months old. He has spent consecutive days at his father's house, and over a year later, he still has the same reaction.

I have seen them together and I have to say I don't see anything that his dad could be doing wrong. Granted, he is not as affectionate as I am, but he's a man. All I see is that he tries so hard to be a part of his life, to be his friend, to get our son to like him.

I'm afraid that his dad will give up and stop coming around him altogether. He feels like his presence stresses our son out. I'm not sure how to help my son get over the fear of his dad. His dad even spends the night in our house, in order for our son to see him on a regular basis--to wake up to him and to go to sleep with him.

I have even backed off and let his dad take care of everything when he is around i.e bath time, feedings, putting him to bed and nothing! Do I need professional help, or patience and lots of prayer?