I am glad you sent in your "saving my marriage" question because I just finished reviewing a relationship program that is extraordinary and that I believe will help you. Since you can get it on a trial basis for 30-days there is no risk.
The program is a series of DVDs and a workbook led by a renown psychologist who will teach you simple techniques to help you and your husband get on the same page about all the important issues and help you get beyond resentments caused by meddling step kids and the other issues that come up in any marriage (including your husband's refusal to let go of his ex-wife.) It will help you connect and rediscover the deep, abiding love that attracted you together and made you want to marry each other in the first place.
I will be posting a review of this program to my site shortly, but for now, please take my recommendation and click on saving my marriage to learn more about the program and what you will get with it. If you and your husband watch the DVD's together (or if you just watch them if he refuses) and do even a few of the exercises in this program, I promise you will be delighted with the results.
Your marriage is definitely worth saving ... you and your husband just need to learn some important skills. Good luck to you and thanks for writing in.