Rules for 15 year old Stepdaughter

by Stepmom
(CA)

I have been with my husband for over 8 yrs now. My stepdaughter use to live with her mother and recently as in January 29th she moved in with us. She had been having issues with her mother by being disrespectful, name calling, sneaking out at night, etc. and her grades began to slip. She made the decision to move in with us. All in all it has been going pretty well.


My issues or concern is that we are trying to get her settled in the house and in school so we have been taking small steps to instill stability and responsibility with her. Last weekend she was with her mother which allowed some time for my husband and me to set up a chore chart for her. The chores consist of empty the dishwasher and feed the cats (which was initial empty the litter box, yet my husband overturned to feeding the cats) Monday thru Thursday, take the bathroom trash out on Wednesdays, cook dinner on Wednesday night. In addition to these items we have also added a daily section for her homework to be complete by 9 pm daily and for her to do her own laundry during the week. For completing these chores we were willing to pay her $20 a week. Ten of that would be fun money and the other ten would go into her savings account.

I had requested that we discuss her chores accomplishments and review her chores list to see if it needed to be modified or made clearer while she was gone this last weekend. My husband told me that he would like a weekend where we did not need to discuss his daughter, which I complied.

Now she will be home tonight and we have not discussed the above. My concern is that he will pay her prior without discussing the above items which I requested. I honestly feel that the amount of chores she has been given is pretty minimal as the dishwasher is not ran every night, as well as I am a little bitter about modifying cleaning the cat litter box to feeding the cats.

She did not complete her homework one night by 9 pm because she failed to look at the list of homework that was given to her on her first day of school. In addition, she started her laundry Friday night and left clothes in the dryer as well as on the laundry room floor.

I feel there should be guidelines set now to ensure she understands and consequence of not completing chores and daily expectations. I want to decrease her allowance for last week as her homework was not completed by the stated time and the laundry was not completed during the week. Am I asking for too much or being too strict?

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