Problem Adult Children
My daughters are 38 and 39 and have had a friendly and loving relationship with their stepfather since they were 8 and 9 years old respectively. All hell has broken loose since we had a huge argument with the eldest child, who wanted to live with us for a couple of weeks. Two weeks turned into nearly 3 months with no respect for tidyness or cleanliness. Our complaints resulted in her offending us and calling us evil. My husband gave her a letter saying she had one month to find other accommodations.
She went to her sister's house (around the corner) and after much discussion, discovered that they had both been propositioned and touched once each by their stepfather when they were 13 and 14. They wanted me to leave my husband (their stepfather), refuse to ever speak to him or see him again and don't want to see me or let me have anything to do with either of them or my grandchildren who are 1 and 3 years old.
My husband was an active alcoholic until 1989 when he went to rehab. In the last 20 years, he has turned his life around. He is now a kind and loving person. We have a loving relationship. He adores my daughters and his grandchildren. He has gone back to school, got a degree in psychology, and works actively with drug and alcohol clients in his work as a counselor and has changed completely.
My daughters have gone from lovely people to very angry and non-communicative. Their father died in 1990 in a car accident. What should I do about this situation?