That 12 year old woman is a shit. You are supporting her because you are also a woman aka mother. That guy cannot sleep because of the nasty phone sounds from your daughter and tv. Hence he is more patient, comparatively to some men. If he leaves your house, it will be good for him only and his future. You're going to get a whole crap of bullshit from daughter. Good Luck to you BOTH.
Aug 27, 2010 Rating
My response that helped in my house by: Anonymous
I went through this several times in my family. I am remarried and my ex in still in our lives. I am the more patient parent and my ex does not listen that well.
My husband is much more of an understanding person and is very good with kids. However, I have always been very defensive for my children and they have always come first "before any man."
My husband too, can give me his input or advise but he does not play a big role in disciplining my daughters from my previous marriage.
With all of that being said, my preteen basically decided the level of respect she would give my husband from the beginning - which was not much. Don?t get me wrong, she is a good girl and hardly ever gives us any problems but we have had he "preteen hormonal attitude" lately.
I finally realized that she would show him more respect if she knew that I expected it from her. I told her that I apologized for allowing her to think that she didn?t have to respect him because mama always was on her side. I told her that I love her and nothing would change that but her attitude and thought process towards her step-dad, my husband, must change.
Once she realized that I was no longer going to jump to her defense and that my husband and I would respect each others opinions and remember are the adults and they are the kids, things changed. Now she has really started showing respect for him and also seems to see us "all" as family more than she did before.
We have to teach our children to respect adults no matter if it is there real parent or not. It doesn?t mean that they love their real parent less, it just means they have respect for adults. Once that is accomplished inside the house, you can be assured it will also happen outside the house too (like to teachers at school).
Feb 13, 2010 Rating
You are treating your husband like crap!! by: Anonymous
Sounds like your husband was probably just ready for bed and wanted her to get quiet and off the phone for the night. If I'm tired I tell my daughter to call it a night and get off the phone so I can get some sleep. I don't blame him a bit. It's his house as much as yours and if what she is doing is affecting him, he has a right to do something about it. You said you need a break sometimes and it sounds like you were taking one. If you didn't like what was happening, you should have got up and done something about it. Sounds like you were asleep and your husband was not, so he was probably having trouble sleeping because of your daughter on her phone and her TV.
THINK about it. HONESTLY if it was you she was keeping up you wouldn't think twice about telling her to go to sleep. It's ridiculous to think that he is going to live with you and your daughter and never have any authority over her. She will never respect him, and you do want her to don't you? Or maybe you don't.
If you always step on your husband's toes and never take his side, you are gonna have a rude awakening when she gets 14,15,16,17 years old because it is going to get really ugly for your entire family.
Good luck with your problem, but I think if you open your eyes you will see you are a HUGE part of it.
Nov 20, 2009 Rating
Wow Its LIke Deja Vu by: Bridget
You sound like a very good mother. Do you know whether or not your daughter likes your husband. I am thirteen years old and my parents are divorced. My dad had a girlfriend who he was engaged to. She used to wait until my dad went shopping, took a nap, or his attention was somewhere else. Then it would all start.
Now the first few months after I met her, she was the NICEST woman in the world. I thought I was so lucky for my dad to have found someone so wonderful. Then, she moved in, and slowly but surely, she got worse and worse. I didn't want to tell my dad because I was afraid he wouldn't believe me. But, when she started screaming at my brother and I and started to elbow us and step on our feet and PHYSICALLY HURT US, I started to tell my dad.
My dad was upset because he "loved her" *GAG* and I was just exaggerating. I was so upset and so was my dad. My dad got more and more upset over the months. That's when she saw her opportunity (when me and my dad were fighting already) to make her move... she started to punish me and my brother for CRAZY things that we didn't do.
Then, about three weeks ago it (meaning my dad's girlfriend) thought my dad had left and started screaming at us about how we were "snot nosed brats + retards + 'Im gonna tell your dad you swore at me." Well, it turns he DIDN'T leave yet.
You. Should. Have. Seen. The. Fireworks. My dad was all like "Jennifer, I'd like to talk to you... NOW!"
Here I am three weeks later and she's somewhere out there rotting in a hole. No more evil ALMOST stepmother for me. Now, this may not be happening to you, but talk to your DAUGHTER about it. NOT YOUR HUSBAND. Well at least talk to her before him. Listen to what she has to say. I know it may be hard, or easy, but you HAVE to listen to her. I just know how it feels.
