Poor Parenting: Recognizing Poor Parenting Skills & How to Change

Poor parenting ...

... understanding what is not good enough in terms of raising children can help you learn what is. Below is a list that I have compiled about the types of behaviors that constitute bad parenting. That said, if you recognize yourself in the words below, do something about it. Attend my parenting class or read my parenting book where you'll learn how to overcome the negative aspects of your upbringing so you don't pass them on to your child.

Poor Parenting Checklist:

  • Parents who fail to connect with their children and engage them on their level. Some parents do not do so because they don't know how; others because they are indifferent parents. If you do not know how because you did not enjoy a close, loving relationship with your parents, this is a skill that you can learn. If you just don't care, then this may be a defense mechanism that can be helped through therapy.
  • Parents who are too busy to spend time with their kids. If you'd rather stick your child in front of a t.v. or computer screen, then you're missing the opportunity to get to know your child and learn how he or she sees the world. Although you may not realize it, children have as much to teach us as we have to teach them.
  • Parents who hit, scream or humiliate their kids in an effort to get them to behave. Although this may be how your parents treated you, choose not to pass on the torch of dysfunction. Children do not need to be treated poorly, so they can learn. Punishment only teaches children what not to do, rather than teaching them what to do.
  • Parents who react to their kids and believe that their kids make them behave in ways that are harsh or cruel. While it's true that children trigger poor parenting behavior, they can only bring out in you what is already there. This is your cue to stop the cycle of abuse and create change in your family by working on your parenting skills.

The word "poor" in the phrase "poor parenting" indicates impoverished (or uninformed) behavior on the part of the parent. What this means is that you were not nourished as a child with good, healthy treatment by your parents probably because they did not possess these skills. Although we're not taught how to be good parents, we can learn and we can rise above our upbringing. Rather than feeling guilty, take action now. Acknowledge that you have some things to learn and open yourself up to new ways of being and responding to your kids. Read my parenting book to learn what your parents couldn't teach you. In it, you'll discover how to connect with your children and help them express their inner strengths. Be the change you want to see in your family and you will find a reservoir of strength within you and the courage necessary to create a new legacy for your children.



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About the author: Laura Ramirez is the author of the award-winning book, Keepers of the Children which uses ideas from the Native American culture to teach parents how to raise children to develop their strengths and lead uniquely fulfilling and purposeful lives.

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