pity my kids had the fate to born to me

My Pitiful Parenting
i had 4 daughters. the second daughter died as soon as she born. i didn't care for my children except giving them food and education. even then i didn't allow them to have that peacefully. i thought since i am a mother without knowing its real meaning they have to be under my control always and obey whatever i say. i didn't allow them to open in their expressions.

i loved to tease and make fun of them. my children grew with pessimistic view of the world. the younger 2 children left me and went to another home. i followed them even there and told it's because of me they are allowed to move.

i don't allow them to say anything against me. if they do i would use my parent control to hurt them. my elder daughter tried to avoid me as much as she could.

the younger child moved out forever when she became 16. i followed her there and hurt her feelings since i didn't want her to move out. i didn't want her to make any decisions without my 'yes'.

i made her believe that i was hurting my second daughter; her best friend in this world and her most beloved one at home. she was sad. i didn't care. i wanted her to come home when she could no longer control her sadness. i made the people she was staying with her; in her presence feel that i am everything to her. she couldn't speak but just hear my lie about the love to herself and her sister.

my second daughter didn't know what i was doing. she moved out to her friends home. one day she came home. i teased her for fun. but by that time she had understood the real outside world. she talked back to me. not a bad word, but in her teenage tone. since then i tried to hurt her and make her feel like she is nothing at all. she fought me back.

by that time my younger daughter came back. things had changed. i didn't care about her feelings. i wanted me to win everything. i forgot i am a mother.

i put my second daughter in a mental home. she jumped out from there telling lies about exam to the doctor. she was not going to allow my bad control over her anymore. then my husband knew what was happening in home. he took me to mental check up and found out i had lost my mind. now i am getting mental therapy.