Parenting Step Children - Three Tips for Being a Loving Step Parent

Parenting step children ...

... can be challenging, yet ultimately, it will be rewarding if you understand what it takes to build a relationship with a child who may feel like developing a relationship with you conflicts with her sense of loyalty to her parent. In this article, you'll learn some tips that will help you with your relationship. Also at the end of the article is a place for you to comment on this article, post your questions or answer questions and encourage those who are struggling with their step kids.

Parenting Step Kids - 3 Important Tips

As a step parent myself, I know what it is to feel like an outcast when you're surrounded by your husband and his kids. I also understand the complexity of feelings and the push-pull desire for relationship with the step parent. Of course, sometimes, there can also be deep resentment especially if the children feel you are responsible for their parents' breakup.

Here are 3 simple tips I gleaned from learning how to be a step parent to my husband's children:

  • Understand that there will be a period of adjustment for everyone before a blended family starts to feel like there is a sense of cohesiveness. This period of adjustment may be longer for some kids than others and some children will never accept you, no matter what you do. Remember that children's ability to accept you as a step parent has a lot to do with the stage of development they're in. Younger kids may more readily accept you, while tweens and teens may seem less willing, especially if they are beginning to rebel against authority figures in general.
  • During conflicts—and there will be conflicts—maintain perspective. Don't get drawn into petty arguments. Instead, be the one who finds solutions that are workable for everyone. In other words, be the adult in the relationship.
  • Allow your relationship with your step kids to blossom over time. If you don't push things or entertain expectations about being a big, happy family, with time, your step children will come to develop a relationship with you that is separate from their estranged parent. Remember that trust builds slowly over time.

Over course, these tips for parenting step children are highly simplified, so if you have questions or need advice, feel free to post them using the form below. You can also reply to the requests for advice from other step parents.



For more detailed information, read my article about step parenting

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