Parenting Jokes & Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

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Parenting Jokes ...

... helps relieve the stress of being a parent. Although parenting is the hardest job in the world, it is easily the most rewarding. Still, there are moments when you'll want to pull out your hair. During those moments or after exasperating interactions with your child, the quotes below will help you laugh a bit and return to a sense of balance. Ultimately, humor helps to put your responsibilities as a mom or dad into perspective and gives you the emotional grounding to face a brand new day.

Another way to release tension in your home is to have funny family movie night. It's my belief that a family who laughs together gets along better. Create a tradition in which once night per week, you watch a funny, zany or ridiculous family movie. In our home, we pick out the movies together using Netflix. They have great specials for families and best of all, there are no hassles or late fees - Netflix lets you rent, watch and return DVDs from home - Try free for 2 weeks

If you have a funny story to share about your interactions with your kids, please tell us all about it by clicking on parenting humor.

Parenting Jokes

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or
have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our
carpet or ruin our lives.

~ Rita Rudner

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's
attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

~ Lane Olinhouse

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting
will sometimes produce bizarre behavior ... and I'm
not talking about the kids.

~ Bill Cosby

Each child has been an education for us in
different ways. The first child-with-a-bloody nose
was rushed to the emergency room. The fifth
child-with-a-bloody nose was told to go immediately
to the yard and stop bleeding on the carpet.

~ Art Linkletter

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Parenting Jokes

The American Dream is not to own your own home,
but to get your kids out of it.

~ Dick Armey

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your
children deal with teenagers of their own.

~ Doug Larson

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Everyone should have kids. They are the
greatest joy in the world. But they are also
terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they
are born and they start using sleep deprivation
to torture you.

~ Ray Romano

There are only two things a child will share willingly;
communicable diseases and his mother's age.

~ Dr. Benjamin Spock

Parenting Jokes

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

~ Ed Asner

It is amazing how quickly the kids can learn to drive
a car, yet seem unable to understand the lawnmower,
snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

~ Ben Bergor

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your
groin unprotected.

~ Red Buttons

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best
we can and hold our breath and hope we've saved
enough to pay for our kids' therapy.

~ Michelle Pfeiffer

About the editor: Laura Ramirez is the author of the award-winning parenting book Keepers of the Children. This unique parenting book uses native concepts to teach parents how to raise children to lead a life that is an expression of their natural strengths and talents. It also explains human development from birth to death.

Parenting Jokes - Parenting Quotes


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