Parenting a step-child that has NO home training

by Christina

I am a new step-parent of a 10 yr. old that has received NO home training up to this point. This child is very disrespectful and mouthy. His behavior is so bad that it has already caused trouble in my very new marriage of 1 month. I am sincerely wanting to be the positive Motherly influence in this child's life that he has not received from his drug-addicted biological mother. But I am not willing to tolerate his behavior. His Father tells me I should "correct him",yet the Father only attempts to correct him only after I comment on his behavior or if the father sees that the child's behavior is upsetting me.

I continue to tell my Husband that I can not be the primary disciplinarian with this child because I am the step-parent. I don't know what to do, I do know that I don't want this to destroy my relationship with my husband. Any suggestions?

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Jan 13, 2013
Step Parenting Conflicts
by: Laura Ramirez

Hi Christina,

You are right to be concerned about your situation. It's tough to be a step parent in circumstances where you have a child whose birth mother enables him and who has been raised without limits and a father who probably feels guilty about his son and so, does nothing to correct inappropriate behavior thus enabling his son as well.

Although this behavior is causing conflict, misery and suffering in your home, particularly for you, because you see the writing on the way, the person who will suffer most in this situation is the 10-year old boy because he will not be given the tools in childhood to create a good life for himself as an adult.

If you can use this as a leverage point to get your husband on board in terms of providing his son and your stepson with a loving home that provides the boy the limits in which he will be able to thrive, then you can come together as a team.

This will take some level of commitment and skill on your part which is why I suggest the resource below. The stakes are high here because as you've noted, it has the potential for ruining your marriage or in the very least, causing mounting resentment between you and your spouse.

Here's the resource:

Parenting Effectively

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