Out of control 11 year old step daughter - HELP

by Stacy
(Pittsburgh, PA)

Out of control step daughter - Help! - My 11 year old step daughter is driving me NUTS! We have three children in our household, 13, 11 and 9. For the most part, the 13 and 9 year old are very well-rounded. They have a good sense of who they are, understand boundries and get along "like sisters."

Enter the 11 year old. She steals from everyone in the house, has trouble making/keeping friends, lies to get her way, turns on the "charm for her daddy," whines every time she talks to him, plays the victim, dresses provocatively (her mother buys her the clothes, not us), talks about boys and making out, sees grown men and says they are HOT, needs constant attention from men, is disrepectful, self absorbed, and rude to everyone.

I could go on and on...from the research I have done over the past 2 years point to narcissistic behavior. I don't get it...she is 11!

My husband's family doesn't even want her around. When I talk to my husband about it, his response is "she is just like her mother."

I don't understand this...the 9 year old came from the same woman.

What can I do before this ruins our family? Oh the school has recommended that she see a child therapist. We have been to 4 in the last 2 years. Every time the mother enters the situation, the therapy stops. The school feels she has issues but every time they tell the mother, she moves her to another school. The child has been in 5 schools in 6 years. HELP!

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Jun 16, 2011
Same problems
by: Anonymous

When you find the answer please let me know. My stepdaughter sounds just like the second paragraph minus the stealing. I have a 4, and 8 year old and I would rather her not around them. They are well behaved and disciplined, but she is totally different

May 31, 2011
watch out!
by: Anonymous

My sisters step daughter was the same way. About a year ago we found her making my 8 year old son do things to her. We found out she was making 4 boys in the family do things with her. She told them if they told they would be in trouble because they are boys and she is a girl. We did call the police and she is only going to serve a year (even though she has told the police what she did). The boys ages are between 6 and 10. She was doing this with up to 5 adults in the house at one time. She has said she would do it again and told me she has been trying to get the older men in the family to do things with her. WATCH THAT GIRL!!!!

Jul 27, 2009
Help for Out of Control Stepchild
by: Laura Ramirez

Dear Stacy,

I understand your situation and feel for you. Read my words carefully: get help for your step daughter NOW. She's only eleven and if you tolerate her bad behavior, it will only get worse with time. As disrespectful, provocative and defiant as she is right now, imagine what she'll be like as a teenager.

I would characterize her behavior as deviant and defiant. She may also be on her way to becoming a borderline. This kind of behavior does not go away on its own. Get yourself a copy of the Total Transformation which is a program that was developed by a therapist who was once a troubled child and teen himself and has created some simple techniques that parents and step parents have used to transform the behavior of kids and teens.

This program will teach you the techniques that will turn around your step daughter's behavior before it is too late and before the other children start to see the control she has by being disrespectful and behaving badly.

Thank you for being such a concerned and caring step mother and for recognizing that your family needs help.

Read my review of the Total Transformation.

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