Out of control 11 year old step daughter - HELP

by Stacy
(Pittsburgh, PA)

Out of control step daughter - Help! - My 11 year old step daughter is driving me NUTS! We have three children in our household, 13, 11 and 9. For the most part, the 13 and 9 year old are very well-rounded. They have a good sense of who they are, understand boundries and get along "like sisters."

Enter the 11 year old. She steals from everyone in the house, has trouble making/keeping friends, lies to get her way, turns on the "charm for her daddy," whines every time she talks to him, plays the victim, dresses provocatively (her mother buys her the clothes, not us), talks about boys and making out, sees grown men and says they are HOT, needs constant attention from men, is disrepectful, self absorbed, and rude to everyone.

I could go on and on...from the research I have done over the past 2 years point to narcissistic behavior. I don't get it...she is 11!

My husband's family doesn't even want her around. When I talk to my husband about it, his response is "she is just like her mother."

I don't understand this...the 9 year old came from the same woman.

What can I do before this ruins our family? Oh the school has recommended that she see a child therapist. We have been to 4 in the last 2 years. Every time the mother enters the situation, the therapy stops. The school feels she has issues but every time they tell the mother, she moves her to another school. The child has been in 5 schools in 6 years. HELP!