Okay to call Stepmother Mommy?

I have three young stepchildren, and one with my spouse, their father. We have asked the stepchildren to call me mommy, so as to not confuse their new baby sister. Is this appropriate? Their mother is livid.

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Jun 02, 2009
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it's ok
by: Anonymous

I can also agree with her. I have been married to my husband for 9 years and he has an 10 year old girl. (long story) But I never asked her to call me "Mom or Mommy". When her mother got married when her daughter was 4 and she told her to call the new hubby "daddy". It really hurt my husband that he wasn't asked how he felt about this. Maybe if you discussed it with her first and then you could have seen her point of view and you may understand why. Of course, in our case it didn't do any good but maybe you all have a better relationship then the four of us do. Best of luck! Also, don't worry even if your little one calls you by your first name just laugh because they will grow out of it, mine did.
Best of luck!

Feb 09, 2009
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Advice from 1 blended family to another
by: Anonymous

I am speaking from my experience of being in a blended family. I do not feel that the stepchildren should have to call you mommy. That is a choice they need to have, especially if their mother is in the picture.

I would be livid too, if I was that mom. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you like it if someone wanted your daughter to call someone else mommy, too.

I believe as a stepparent the title of mommy or daddy is earned by attitude and walking that position out. I do totally understand not wanting to cause confusion for your little one, but you don't want to sell out the other children for your new edition to the family. That can cause major issues between your child and the step children. It could way backfire and cause irreparable damage to their future relationship.

You could ask the three children how they would feel about calling you "mommy" with your first name. That's what my son did with his stepdad. My ex & his wife tried to get my son to call her mommy, & he refused. He said that he already had a mommy, but he agreed to call her mommy and her first name.

Hope that helps. You are in a hard place.

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