My Son Can't Focus! - What Caring Parents Can Do
"My son can’t focus!" It’s not something you want to have to admit to yourself. It also may be something that you're not sure how to cope with. But you think it's true: you’ve seen the evidence. The other parents at day school and on play dates have see it too. And now your child’s teacher has brought up her concerns.
Sometimes you wonder if it's just a matter of stubbornness. Your child will not focus! you think to yourself. Then, sometimes, you realize it's because he can’t focus: he doesn’t know how to curb impulses, calm himself, get himself under control. If he can't help it, he needs your help.
When you realize that the inability to concentrate is involuntary: that your child can’t focus—not that your child will not focus—then you can start to look for solutions to help your child learn a better way. A combination approach might work best for your child-perhaps a combination of behavioral therapy and an alternative remedy that will help your child focus and improve memory without side effects or long term complications.
When you claim, "My son can’t focus," you’re saying something that can make you very worried, but you need to understand that unlike the idealized children in child-rearing books, real kids don’t always develop in the same ways. In fact, real kids can be delayed in a number of ways. It's important to realize that a child’s neurological development continues into his early twenties and can be changed at each step of the way by experience and teaching. Some kids develop slower than others and some have issues such as a lack of concentration.
What's needed is to help your child. To do that you need to stop repeating the mantra, "my son can’t focus" and take action. Some great solutions include at home behavioral therapy programs that are designed specifically to help the parent teach her child to focus and natural remedies that are designed to give the brain the nutrition it needs to concentrate and repair dysfunction.
One route to look into seriously is that of alternative medicine, especially homeopathy. Many parents have been thrilled with the results of this mild, but effective type of medicine. Rather blitzing your child's brain with chemicals that can have side effects and long term implications, homeopathy uses low doses of active ingredients like Hyoscyamus, Verta Alb, Arsen Iod, and Tuberculinum to heal the brain. When you feel like your child will not focus, a daily dose of natural medicine can restore dysfunction, increase the brain's ability to concentrate and stay on task and bring your child back to center.
Another good supplement is lithium orotate for ADHD which has been shown to increase memory and the ability to concentrate. It is a natural mineral salt that can also be used quite effectively to relieve depression in adults. Like the remedy described above, it has no side effects.
Parents have excellent success combining natural remedies with at home behavioral programs in teaching kids to focus and stay on task. These two methods complement each other because the remedies restore proper function while behavioral strategies teach children skills that they will use throughout their lives to concentrate even when there are distractions.
No matter what, don’t give up on your child. Even if there is an element of willful acting out, there is no reason to upset by repeating the thought: "my child will not focus." With proper treatment, you can get through this hitch in child development and give your child the benefit of struggling through this experience that even normal kids will not get.
By following these steps, one day you can change the thought: my son can't focus to my son has excellent concentration skills. Even though it may not seem like it right now, going through this struggle with your child will make you closer, stronger and teach you both some important skills.
Always keep in mind that the road to maturity is fraught with struggles and does not always follow the exact route laid out in child rearing books. Keep the faith, follow the steps, and together, you and your child will make it.
About the Author: Laura Ramirez is the author of the award-winning parenting book, Keepers of the Children: Native American Wisdom and Parenting which shows parents how to raise children to develop their strengths and lead meaningful and productive lives. The book is a journey of self-discovery for child and parent.
Copyright © 2009 by Laura Ramirez. All Rights Reserved. You may not copy this article in whole or in part without the written permission of the author.
Child Will Not Focus - Child Development