my kids live in separate households and don't get along

by Melinda

My kids live in separate households and only get to spend a little bit of time together. The older child calls the his little brother names and hurts his feelings. The younger boy's feelings get hurt because he looks up to his older brother so much and wants to belong. I want them to enjoy the time they have together, what can I do?

Comments for my kids live in separate households and don't get along

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 12, 2010
Sibling Conflict
by: Laura Ramirez

As the parent of two teenage boys, I know it broke my heart a little bit each time I saw my children fight when they were younger and call each other hurtful names. Although this is part of the power struggle that occurs between siblings during childhood (whether they live in the same house or not), there are some things that you can do.

Since I have many ideas, but can't detail them all in this post, I am referring you to the material that I have already written in my parenting book. Make sure to check out the chapter on creating a family code of values and the chapter on conflict resolution, in particular, the use of the "talking stick" which is borrowed from the Native American tradition of healing hurt feelings and/or coming to a consensus of opinion on important matters.

Also, follow my recommendations in the book, about encouraging both of your children to work together to choose the talking stick and decorate it on their own. I hope that you will come back to this post and share how this worked for you and your children at some point.

I have a strong sense that this will help you. Although it requires using ideas from a different culture, another perspective is often exactly what we need.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Parenting Advice.