My 13 year old has developed complete disconcern for what I ask

by Jessica
(Oregon)

I am a single mother of 2 boys, ages 13 and 7. My eldest and I have always been very close and he's a very good boy (not into drugs or alcohol or sex or violence etc.) but he is finding it difficult, it seems, to simply do as he's told (i.e. chores, tasks, homework) the first (or 2nd or 3rd) time I tell him, and often the delay is accompanied with "why" or "hold on" etc..

He seems to be going through the "I'm smarter than my mom, and know better than she, and don't really have to do what I don't feel like doing" phase all teens go through. We've had discussions, conversations; I've asked what I need to do in order for him to behave like he knows is right, and was raised to behave.

I've threatened, and restricted, and made lists and still I seem to be talking to an obstinate brick wall with little concern for what I say, think, or want. I am at the point where I'm considering ways to implement an at-home boot camp, and/or family contract for us, and coming up with appropriate and effective consequences in order to enforce expected behavior.

Any suggestions on ways to implement some sort of system where expectations and consequences are listed out systematically and clearly to correct this situation? Ideas for items to be included in a family contract? Any failure/success stories on these or other means tried to discipline teenage boys?