Multiracial Child with Aspergers and Cultural Issues at Home

by Phillip
(Hawaii)

I am a member of the Wounded Warrior Transition Battalion, I was injured during a training exercise and I used to be an Army medic and LPN nurse. Now however, I am unable to continue on and I stay at home and help to raise my son and daughter while I go through the retirement process so I now spend a lot of time with my children. I am also a Native American Soldier, Apache-Choctaw-Chickasaw.

I live in Hawaii with my family, and are a very multi-cultured family, just recently my son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. We struggle everyday to try and teach him lessons in the old way and use the Apache traditions I have been brought up with however, like your family my wife is Japanese and she at times does not understand a lot of the Native American ways I was brought up with. Now that you have a little bit of the background I have two questions:

Can your parenting book assist us with the raising of our child with the Aspergers? This is the first and foremost challenge with our son. Everyday it is a challenge with him and everyday it gets harder and harder not to break down and yell and scream at him for his little idiosyncrasies we know he can not control. We search desperately for assistance but there is very little the Schools here and the State of Hawaii can offer us. Secondly there is very little that a traditional sense I can find in my own value system that I can see through the haze of everyday to use to teach him with in our Apache way.

Do you think your book will help bridge the gap that my family has between the cultures. My wife is very supportive of my traditions such as the children learning our lifestyle and culture however when I tell my son things like, "Son your eight now it is time for you to start training in hunting and the ways of the hunter and the Apache Way". She will argue with me that we do not live on a Reservation and that should not be something I try to focus on with him so much. After much arguing we always come to my walls which then are, "fine I have two options then one you allow me to teach him the Apache way or two we move back to where I learned my traditions on the reservation". Which of course we both walk away angry and shut down.

If you think this parenting book can honestly help me in these areas I would purchase your book, however if this book is simply more quotes and more things that I already know such as respect your mother and elders and hold the mothers in the highest respect ... these things are not new to a Native American. I need assistance in bridging my culture to work with my son in another way and I hope your the way.

If you think your book is not something that would help my son I wonder if you have ever considered branching out into some areas such as these issues that may face Native Communites such as mental health issues that can be addressed in a alternative method using our Native Cultural ways, i.e. ADD, Aspergers, Dysgraphia, Child Trauma PTSD Syndroms, etc.

Funny because I found your link to your site by accident as I just became the new Committee Chairperson for my son's Cub Scouts and was actually looking for a certain quote for something totally else. I being a healer too though believe that the Creator does not bring things by accident or mistake so I will leave it at that and that is all I have to say ... in my language, I'heedn. I wish many blessings on your family from the Creator.