Multiracial Child with Aspergers and Cultural Disagreements at Home by: Laura Ramirez
Thank you for your question. I understand your situation. I don't know if I mentioned this on my web site or not, but my husband is disabled and lies in chronic pain. In our family, we have a saying: "you can only go as fast as the slowest person."
Let your son's Aspergers slow you down, help you accept him as he is (even when you feel like yelling or screaming) and encourage both of you to discover how this experience can help him discover his inner strengths. This is what my parenting book is about: using native principles to help children discover their sense of integrity through the development of inner strengths, so they can bring these gifts to the world and create meaningful lives for themselves.
It is definitely not a book of Native American quotes or rehashed ideas.
Although I don't specifically address Aspergers in the book, I do teach how to use Mother Nature to teach kids the basics of human psychology. You can use this as a fun way to teach your son about the different types of people in the world. I think this is especially important for a child with Aspergers (and can also be a way to bring in the concept of a modern-day warrior. Read more about my thoughts on this below.)
Your son offers you a unique opportunity to discover who you are and what you're made of, even as you're guiding him to find his strengths and ultimately, his purpose. You talk about wanting to teach your son to hunt. I think it is important to teach survival skills, however, in the modern world, it might even be more important to teach your child to be a warrior in terms of dealing with his disorder and the people in society who are intolerant or might reject him. As you know, in the native world, those with disabilities or disorders are often the healers because their experience has given them a different (and bigger) perspective.
In terms of parenting conflicts with your wife, know that there will always be gaps of understanding when it comes to the importance of transmitting certain cultural values. There are conflicts even in marriages with people of the same culture because each parent has a different idea about how their children should be raised. As long as you can come together and act in the best interests of your child and as long as you both agree that your son needs to learn as much as possible about both his cultures, so he can feel at home in both, then I think it will be easier for your wife to see the importance of you teaching your son what you know and beyond that, the magic father-son bonding that will happen because of it.
Learn more about Laura's parenting book, which won a Nautilus award for "books that promote conscious living and social change."
