I've hobbled my child's development

by Jan

When my eldest daughter turned 16 she wanted to drive, and stole my car keys and drove around. when my youngest wanted to drive, well I had hit my Im-nearing-40's crisis, all I wanted to do was party like an average college student. After telling my youngest child to "f*ck off" while I was drunk at a club with my college friends, I kept telling her to go screw because I had something better and more important to do, even though I didn't.

Well it's years later and because of my procrastinations she's now 20 and looking for her own place but wont be able to move out because I neglected to teach her how to drive. Looking back, I've had numerous beaten up second hand cars that I could have taught her on, but because of my selfishness, I'm worried that she won't ever be able to transport herself around without my help.

I also feel horrible because she has the money to buy her own vehicle but whats the point of getting one if she doesn't have a license or the skills to drive. Nowadays I cant help but think from time to time that I should have made more equal time between my daughters since I didn't bother with my youngest much when I was going to college. (my eldest has bipolar, and took up a lot of my time with behavioral issues, and resulting a lot less quality time with my youngest.)

Today my youngest needed replacement glasses with no sight and no ability to drive, I had to drive her to and listen to how horrible her sister is being to her. I think that I should have done things a lot differently, I really shouldn't have allowed my eldest to get away with her bad behavior and torment her sister into eating her feelings and never tried to help my youngest's special qualities bloom.

My advice for parents is that you should always make equal time for your kids, never load all your hopes and aspirations on your eldest child, (that kind of thinking should be left for the people in the Tudor section of history) because chances are that you'll never know which path your children will take in life.

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