Incest - My Brother and Me

by Rhonda Kay Grindle

Incest: My Brother and Me

When I was around 3 or 4 I was raped by my own brother. My mother walked in on one incident and told my brother, who was 11 or 12 that she'd better not ever catch him doing that again. After that, it was never talked about.

I am now 44 years old and have thought of it from time to time. Sure it bothered me, but now it has gotten worse. My brother died of a massive heart attack 6 days ago. Thank God, he never had children of his own.

When I was a teenager I acted out, both sexually as well as the usual teen stuff. I haven't slept over 2 to 3 hours each night since his death. At the end, I was there for him while he was hospitalized.

As each day passes it is brought back repeatedly to mind. Sometimes I think I am going crazy. My father has since passed away and my mother is 72 and is not in great health.
I could never bring this up to her at this point, since she just lost one of four children.

My brother never seemed to "fit" into out family. He would always say he was the black sheep of the family. I guess maybe this is why. My father was a minister as well as a good man and my mother was the best around.

How could they figure this would just "escape" my mind, maybe because I was so young. I guess I'll never be quite sure, but it was never discussed. I have never told my husband or anyone else.

Dear God, please give me the strength to go on and take one day at a time. Meanwhile, I have to be there for my mother. If anyone reads this please keep me in your prayers.

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Jul 22, 2012
Yea, me too
by: Anonymous

I am a victim of incest, my older brother repeatedly raped me. I say I am a victim because it still haunts me, at the age of 50, so I don't feel I have learned the skills of a survivor yet. I will keep you in my prayers.

Jul 06, 2012
It's OK
by: Anonymous

When I was a child my brother did the same thing to me. My parents didn't find out till we were both older. My father is a minister too and again it is never spoken about. People around just don 't know how to deal with such information and do not know how to respond, however I know that this does not matter anymore.

First step is understanding it happened and it's not my fault, the only way to deal with such memories and not let them effect your life, is to acknowledge its real and let yourself begin to heal.

God is good and restoration shall come.

Apr 25, 2012
It's tough but Temporary
by: Brian-Keith

I am sorry this experience has haunted you for so long. I recently found this website seeking clarity for my self. I submitted "Father Abuses Son." I am 25 now and could relate my well being to the Californian Bristle Cone Pine tree. When a regular tree is a sapling, it is at its most critical stage of growth. It needs an abundance of nourishment and as little obstacles around to be able to grow into a mature tree some day. However the Bristle Cone when young can remain dormant for centuries and can survive tumultuous weather conditions. If this tree is presented with a problem such as a large rock rolling on top of it, it does not give up. It merely discovers the problem and literally moves on. Usually enveloping the rock around it. My point is we can be like a thousand year old Bristle Cone survivor or we can be a tumbleweed tossed in the wind. These feelings are temporary if you choose for them to be. You are capable of being a strong survivor.

Jun 24, 2011
Older sister
by: Anonymous

When I was about 5 years old I watched as my brother and sister would have sex on the couch next to me. When I was a little older my sister would get me alone in her bedroom and we would play with each others naked body. She would sit on the couch while I was on the floor and she'd spread her legs and talk to me so I'd look at her vagina. I was young and thought she did it by accident. Now I know better. Sometime I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking of what she used to do to me. I feel I need help to get over the thoughts.

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