Incest Has Cost Me My Life

((metro) Atlanta, GA, USA)

I have been victimized my entire life by my father. I am 48 years old and my father still pursues me. I am dying inside and have hit a brick wall in my attempt at a "life".

It seems like an impossible situation because I love my father; he's my father. People don't understand but love is the strongest force there is, over all others.

He has twisted my mind and succeeded in winning my love, convincing me that if I try to put a permanent wall between us, I will be the bad person. It is extremely complicated.

I've tried years of therapy, religion, self help, drugs & alcohol. I am severely affected. I am a divorced mother of a beautiful 10-year daughter and watching her grow is painful in many ways as it takes me back to my most vulnerable years.

I need help and I can't find it. God know he I've tried but there just doesn't seem to be help out there for me. It's not just the past, it's also the "now" as long as my dad keeps a heartbeat, it's alive and it sucks. Incest has cost my life, literally. Where, oh where, can I find help?