I'm a step father who has a 10 year old and 7 year old step sons that have a prior history of abuse

I'm a step father who has to step sons with a prior history of abuse with their real father. He is no longer in their lives but it has made my in-laws and the kids sceptical of me, because of his wrong doings. To complicate it my in-laws do not recognize me as a "father figure" in the boys lives and often do things to undermine any bond being developed between me and the boys or any rules my wife and I try to establish. How do I deal with this complicated issue? I honestly love these boys and have been a part of their lives for three years now.

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Aug 04, 2012
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Step Father Trying to Overcome Family Pattern of Abuse
by: Laura Ramirez

As a step father who is doing his best to overcome the lack of trust in a family that experienced abuse at the hands of the natural father, you have a tough job ahead of you. The fact that you realize the challenge and are willing to go forward says a lot about you as a man and even more about your love and commitment to your step children.

You can't control what others think of you or whether they can get past their biases and begin to trust you. What you can do is keep reminding yourself of the importance of your mission, give all you can to these young boys, seek support (which you are already doing) and continue to grow in your dedication as part of the process.

I admire you and I'm sure others will chime in and do the same. Welcome to our family of supportive parents and step parents around the world. You don't have to be a birth father to know what it means to raise children into adulthood.

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