I was pampered and groomed by my mother to be her husband.
Ever since I can remember my mother has treated me as special. We only deserve the best. The best clothes food attention; whatever it may be. My father was a bank president and my mother worked for the county. The problem was my father did not know how to love my mother. Or my mother did not know how to receive love from my father. I do not know. But I do know now that my mother was lonely and reached out to me for her love. Instead of getting divorced she stayed in the marriage and found a willing and easily manipulated subject to be her emotional escape: Me.
As early as I can recall she was dressing me up in fancy pastels, yellow, pinks. I was a very cute child and often mistaken for a girl. My mother made me into what she wanted. In school I treated as a pussy and bullied. I was voted the cutest guy in 8th grade. Girls love me and guys hated me. But the problem was I was not allowed to like any other girls. My mother had given birth to me, her attention, love, food and everything else that a child needs. And in return she expected loyalty. Not to my father or my family but to her. She told me no one would ever love me like she did. And no woman is good enough for me. She said love has no age boundaries. You can love anyone at any age and the laws are wrong. She pointed out that my Grandmother’s sister had an incestuous relationship with her father.
My mother has alluded to the fact that her father had molested her and her sister. So I guess my mother was trying to say "It is just what
our family does."
I just talked to my sister and she said she has had conversations about me and my mother's dependent relationship. She has not told me what my mother said. But a neighbor once came over to me and told me my mother said "Your mother told me you are mentally ill so she has to take care of you."
My mother has labeled everyone in the family as mentally ill. And when I would try to confront my mother with my concerns about our relationship she would say "I know you don't mean the things you are saying, it's just your mental illness talking."
As long as she kept me "sick" she had control over me. And I wanted to make my mother happy so I guess I was sick. So she was basically saying "There, there sick boy, momma is here to love you and take care of you. No one can understand your sickness like I do."
So my mother telling me I am sick and me believing it; and mother taking on the role of my wife, set me up to really becoming mentally sick and prove her right. It is a vicious cycle.
The key to success in fighting this is boundaries. My mother has no boundaries. If it feels good, do it. I am 46 and she sees no problem with me dating a 13 year old. Pedophiles have no boundaries.
Yeah well Mom, I think you’re a sick person and the abuse stops here whether you like it or not.
I have now set boundaries. If my mother comes to my house I will tell her she needs to leave. She is not welcome. She has destroyed many, many lives and has equated herself to Jesus Christ and Mother Theresa. Sick, Sick, Sick.