I was molested by the same gender

by Cindy

My mother died when I was an infant and I was being raised by my father, until my family members decided that he could use his sister in raising his two kids.

So, when I was between the ages of 3 and 4, my paternal aunt came to live with us. I remember looking into the room she was sleeping in one night, and I walked up to the edge of her bed where she was lying. Then, I asked her if I could sleep with her, thinking that is what my brother probably had done. First, she said no. Then, she said ok.

When I got into her bed, she started fondling me and getting into my vagina. She asked me if it felt good. I started trying to get her to stop. Then, she said I could do it back to her and showed me her body. I did not do it back to her. I got out of the covers and stood on the bed. Then, she rubbed her hand down my chest. I thought that was so gross. Next, she told me never to let a man do that to me. I angrily wondered why in my own head.

I was only four years old when this happened to me, and I never got the right therapy for it. I saw a doctor about this, but never felt like I had any help.

I told this to a few other health professionals, and they said things like "It is not your fault", and "she hurt you". A mental health nurse asked me if I ever told my dad and I said yes, but that it wasn't true. He stood by his family know matter what, and that was his sister.

But, I know what is true, and I also have to live with the trauma that I want to go away. I know I am going to try to find help, maybe it is going to take some effort being that I am now 43 and this happened nearly 40 years ago.

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