I feel like im failing at raising my girlfriends kids

by Michelle
(Missouri)

I am a 35 year old lesbian who is dating a mother of 2 and we have our differences as far as how we were raised and the ways/ideas of raising children. We have been together for almost 4 months and i love her kids, do everything I can to help support them but I feel like no matter what I do its never good enough.

Their mother and I have our differences on how we would raise children and it has caused some conflicts at home, putting a strain on our relationship. I let her do all the disciplining because they are her kids and I still dont feel comfortable in doing that, but I let her know my opinions and always try to compromise.

She has one boy who is 13 and a rebellious 14 year old daughter who doesnt want to listen to anything we say or do. I love my girlfriend and her kids but I can feel this taking a very emotional toll on our relationship and one day it may cause me to leave.

I would love to take some kind of counseling or learn how to deal with step children but I am the only one working right now and all of our money go to our bills. I just feel lost and hopeless :(....I am open for any ideas, any suggestions on how to fix this. Please help and thank you for your time.