Husband Says I Must Have Something Personal Against His Daughter

by SAD-P
(USA)

My husband and I have been married for about 10 months now. He gets his 13 year old daughter each weekend. My issue is that she comes into my house (we are staying at my place instead of where he used to live), does not say hello or any form of greeting to me.

My husband gets so defensive if I mention it to him; he tells her to say hello but only because I mentioned it. I tell him that he should pick up on her behavior toward me without me having to say anything.

At times, it all seems well and good. She gets up early, helps me make breakfast or helps with dinner. She likes it when I do her hair for Sunday service. It's at these times that she acts as though she likes to be in my company more than her father. Then the next minute if I ask her to do something, she has to look at him for confirmation before she does it. Again I mention this to him and he says she forgets that she should do what I say.

The other day, I looked her in the eyes and told her she needs to respect me, that I am not her friend, but an adult and she needs to see me as such. I told her that if she does not show me the respect I deserve, I will discipline her accordingly (which of course I find it hard to say or even do and I think they both know that).

It was after this that my husband went as far to say that I have something personal against his daughter because he does not understand why I keep bringing her behavior up.

I told him if I have something against her personally he should not bring her around me with the fear that I might do something bad to her. He said as long as he is here, she will be also.

I have even tried to take myself out of the picture on many weekends. I stay in another room if they are watching tv together or I have turned down offers to go go the zoo or movies with them.

He said he thinks I am offended if he shows her any affection or anything and that's why I have been doing that.


I told my husband all I want from him is for him to understand where I am coming from. My husband and I are happy all week long until something comes up about something she did or said and then the entire weekend is a mess when she is there. What should I do?