how to help my fiance stop defending his children

How to Help My Fiance Stop Defending His Children

My fiance and I have lived together for a few years now. His children are only with us a few days a week, but we have mine full time.

The first few years were fairly easy, but now it's changing. His children are nasty and disrespectful to me often, and he doesn't talk to them about it or handle it while it's going on.

They also damage our home by writing on walls, furniture, making messes and not cleaning up after themselves. Granted my kids do same on occasion, minus the writing on things yet difference is I have mine all the time and I can reprimand them, whereas he, the fiance, gets defensive about his children, whatever it is they have done and does not handle it properly with them.

It is frustrating and I'm glad it's something we have to go through only a few times a week. His kids are disrespectful, nasty at times, argumentative, loud, brash not polite at all, and pushy, yet yes, I have grown to love them. Their mother is all of these things, so he always says they're a product of her behaviors.

Okay, great, yet we can't walk on a tightrope each time we have them to keep them happy and calm. At least that's how I see it. I give a lot to these kids, love them, spend time with them, try my best with them, yet every now and again the frustration level is so severe that I want to run far away.

Any advice?