how to cope with being a step parent

by Kandi
(Murrieta, ca)

I met my husband in 2001. his daughter was 2 years old and she lived with her mother, father (grandfather) he has legal guardianship. we moved in together 2002, and seen his daughter on the weekends and things were going good, but when the daughter's mother came back into the picture the daughter starting pulling away from me, with the mom calling all the time arguing with my husband and so on.

then in 2007 we decided to have children. together we had a little girl march of 2007, and my step daughter about 9 years old was kinda upset about it but it grew on her and she became happy, but not for long due to the biological mother feeding her head with things.

we decided to get married in april 2009 and at that time my step daughter did not want to be in our wedding, so we began court to try and get some sort of custody or actual court ordered visitation, then in july 2009 we had another baby (little girl).

well since we started court it seems we haven't got no where. we got a lawyer and he was horrible at his job, so there went $5,000.00 down the drain. we are still going to court and so far we have every tuesday from 6-8pm and every other saturday from 10am-6pm.

everytime my step daughter comes over she gives me attitude, and rolls her eyes at me, and basically could care less about me, she acts like she doesn't even want to be at our home, so it makes me have so much resentment towards her period.

I get so mad and hurt by it I just want to give up the whole court thing and just say forget it. we are trying so hard spending lots of money with court trying to fight for her and she doesn't seem appreciative.

on another note the biological mother and grandparent do not get along with my husband.

I recently have been to the doctors and find out I am 27 years old with very high blood pressure! I feel as if my I need to be there for my children and stay healthy for me and my family, and how can I do that with all these problems going on with my step daughter?

on top of all that my mother in law favors my step daughter because she feels sorry for her and gives my kids the cold shoulder.

I am very hurt, and angry, and feel as if I can't deal with it anymore, I need some advice, I know but husband loves his daughter but we have been dealing with this for 9 years and when is enough...enough?

I feel as if she wants to be a part of our family she will on her own...Please help with advice...I know there's a lot more to tell but I tried summing it up. Thanks so much.

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