How Do You Tell Grown StepChild with A spouse and Child that they Visit too Often

I am so depressed. I have asked over and over from my spouse to include me when his son is coming to supposedly my house. Or the question is it my house?

My husband has 3 grown men 53-50 and soon 47. I have twins soon be 38. We have been married for now soon be 17 years..and dated for 10 so that's 27 years. That's a long time for this to be happening...

It really is a tear own my husband and my relationship. He sees nothing wrong with it..because he doesn't do anything to help neither does his son and his wife...they all sit around and mess up and walk away and do their thing.

I don't have any money to leave and I think that's what my husband is banking on. He hides money and give them money ...it it such a discouraging and embarrassing story that I really cant explain it. I KNOW THAT I AM TIRED....I do love my husband or I did until he stopped being the Protector and SUPPORTER that I thought he would be.

These boys are grown...my sons do not act in this manner. My husband is 79 and I am 58 ...when he is sick because he has prostrate cancer..I take good care of him as a wife should...I dont care about the age difference.

By the way his son that is 47 married a 26 year old girl who just had a baby in 2009. They live now since 2007 3 and half hours away but they come to this house every two months or so and stay from Wed until Sunday. This girl was coming to my house eating every weekend while I was at church with his son and I didn't know who she was until 2005.

Yes the food would be ate up and I came home to dirtied dishes. I AM TIRED...I CANT EVEN WRITE ANYMORE.

ITS CHRISTMAS AND THEY HAVE TOLD THEIR FATHER THEY WILL BE HERE CHRISTMAS. I was not asked. My home is in shambles when they are here. Yes my husband and I have argued about this. He's a person that likes to lower a woman self esteem and professes to be a christian. I hate to be nasty BUT!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...Is there anyone out there feeling me?

PS.. When they come with their child they bring beds.. toys..3 and 4 suitcases dragging into the house bumping and marking the walls and floors. They now use 2 bedrooms instead of one bedroom and they hog the bathrooms. I like light..they come in and close all my blinds to the bedrooms and they stay close and the beds unmade with clothes all in the floor, wet towels laying on my furniture and she lays her hot curler on the furniture...yes the furniture is circled and burnt now.