Help - My daughter hates my husband

by Maria Clark
(Chandler, AZ, USA)

My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years. I have three children, daughter - 14, daughter - 10, son - 7. My oldest daughter "hates" my husband.

She is very disrespectful to him. Treats him like he is lower than dirt. Has told me that she wishes he would just go away. She says she blames him for "taking me away from her".

She feels I can't see the real him and he has pulled the wool over my eyes. I see a man who tries very hard to be "accepted" by her, but nothing he does matters to her.

My oldest daughter has only phone contact with my ex-husband (her father) and only visits with him for a few hours every few months, due to strains in their relationship and ongoing issues between her father and his wife.

My middle daughter, age 10, "tolerates" my husband. She isn't as disrespectful as the older one, but as she approaches her tween years, I can see her disrespect growing.

She sees her dad every Sunday and Monday. She is as close to him as can be expected with this minimal amount of time they spend together.

My son, age 7, adores my husband and his father. He has been able to find a place for both of them in his heart. I figure it has to do with the age he was at when the divorce occurred and then the remarriage.

I am very concerned about my daughters' inability to open up and give in just a little bit. I get caught in the middle a lot because I can't stand to see my husband's feelings hurt all of the time and I spend a lot of time trying to convince my daughter what a great guy he really is.

I just don't know what to do. It causes a lot of unrest in our house. How can they make strides to build a relationship that isn't just co-existing in our house?