help for step mom
Hi. I am the stepmomster to a wonderful young man who is 13. Let me try and sum this up...My husband was married to bio mom and had T. She then left husband when T was an infant. She stayed gone for the better part of 8 years, being in and out of his life. Due to very complicated circumstances, she opted for her custody (after being gone for 8 years) and T was forced to go and live with her. he lived there for 3 years, where he was exposed to many things such as drugs, alcohol, emotional abuse, physical abuse and more issues than I can list here. Bottom line, she lost her custody, and we now have full custody of T. SO...as a result, I am now the custodial step parent of said young man.
I don't know where my line is. I don't know what to do. If I correct him, I'm wrong. If I don't, I am wrong. If I do his laundry, it wasn't fast enough. If I don't, he doesn't have clean clothes. All of which, according to him are my fault. He treats me as if I am something else he has to deal with. He has no respect, no kindness, no caring in his voice, in his actions or how he interacts with me. He treats me like he hates me. I found out today that he wants to move in with his grandmother, to be as far away from me as possible.
His bio mom was despicable. She was verbally, emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive to him. She is no longer in the picture. His counselor said that I just have to "keep doing what I'm doing." He is making a connection. He is....trying. I don't believe that. IF he were any other male, I would tell him a thing or two. I don't know what to do. I am the brunt of his jokes, i am the cause of his frustration. I am the reason he wants to move away. i don't know what to do.
Thank you for listening.